Tuesday Afternoon BLT

13Aug08

But my tomatoes had gone so bad. Cute little cherry tomatoes, with cute little green mold colonies all over. So I had to make due without them.

Actually, my credit card was maxed for the past week and a half so I’ve been scraping around trying to find things to eat, slowly diminishing my pantry reserves. As of this moment, my refrigerator is all condiments and orange juice. The last of the cheese is gone. There is no lemonade. My credit is back, I just need to go grocery shopping. Yesterday I had bacon, lettuce, swiss cheese, cheddar cheese and a fresh loaf of sourdough bread from the Little Bakery. Time to get creative, with the BLC – an honest sandwich, an American original.

It all starts with the bacon. Do you think I eat too much bacon?

I cooked this in the oven for about 13 minutes at 425ºF, in an uncovered anodized dutch oven. Pro tip: I saved the fat that rendered out and fried a chicken breast in it for dinner last night.

You can’t have a sandwich without bread. I don’t believe in low-carb shenanigans like lettuce wraps. Sourdough is delicious, so I used that. You can use what you like, unless it’s Wonder bread. I’ll fuck you up.

Cover both breads with a thin layer of good old mayonnaise. I actually did use lite mayo, because it tastes the same and I’m fat enough as it is. Oh yeah, and put some bacon on there.

I’m making a sandwich. You can’t possibly need these directions.

This is “cosmopolitan lettuce,” which is a “new lettuce.” Surprise of the century: it looks and tastes like lettuce.

Once the top bread hits the lettuce you have five seconds to eat it. Your tongue and stomach will join forces and eat your brain in mutiny if you wait any longer than that. As such, the picture is blurry.

I also happened to make enough bacon for two sandwiches. I had two sandwiches. Don’t tell anyone.

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