Some More Thoughts

09Jul08

My hamster is so obnoxious. Every night, no matter how much attention, food, exercise and excitement I give her, she chews on the bars and makes the worst grating sound. She does this to grind down her teeth so that they don’t grow up into her tiny brain. It is the sound of teeth being ground away into dust. My, god.

Last weekend, my friends and I spent the fourth (as well as the third and fifth) at our friend’s house in Red Creek. The moment of perspective in this instance came when we drove for twenty minutes at highway speeds to the local metropolis, a Family Dollar with a population of 1700. The stars were again spectacular, as were my allergies. I’m getting accustomed to sleeping in atypical types of furniture; I think that’s maybe a good skill to have.

Saturday, having come back to the city, I was hanging out with Beth and we made – she made, I “helped” – delicious banana bread. I took a couple of photographs of the end product, but I can’t take credit for anything but eating it…

This was a good night.

What I love most about pictures from Beth’s kitchen is that there is always some brightly colored object nearby; mine is always very beige. 

I’ve finally resolved to see a therapist and pick apart the tangled yarn that is my conscience. There are a lot of things bothering me and a lot of things wrong with me and, even though I’ve made a lot of progress on my own, I need to finally commit to straightening it all out if I’m to grow further. I had intended to stop by the counseling office today and schedule an appointment but I made a pit stop in Witmeyer Lab beforehand and became absorbed working on something for so long that it had closed. It was worth it, though, because I finally decided on what to get permanently drawn into my skin; I made this, and it means nothing:

I signed up for okcupid again last night, having been too tired to go and do something worthwhile. God help me. My past experiences with this have been suboptimal, but I need the entertainment.

Today I rode down to Southtown Plaza in suburban Henrietta to drop into a shop that I need and want to work at for the rest of my undergraduate career. I am so hoping that my job hunt is coming to an end, because my savings certainly are, and I’m super bored doing nothing all day. I was granted a brief phone interview last weekend but thought it would be a nice touch to show the manager my beautiful shining face and be charming in person. Since it was about four hundred degrees – all humidity – today, by the time I got there I was a mess, so I took a break at Jitters to grab a slice of pizza and read while I settled down.

I didn’t get very far into my slice or my book before something started really bothering me that I couldn’t ignore any longer, like a swarm of mosquitos eating your head while you do your best to convince yourself that the citronella is working. The place was packed with thirty-something polyethylene suburban housewives, complacently saturated with paxil and stretching their exposed legs around at everyone else, perfectly toned and tanned like rotisserie chickens. Even the younger crowd seemed vacant and somehow manufactured, sitting alone with nothing to justify their existence, begging each other with their eyes for companionship that nobody has the courage to provide. An overwhelming need to escape took me and I moved on to my interview. From there I went to my new apartment complex for information, and then on to campus to get some illustrator time in. The good word from the apartments is that I can paint any room anything I want, as long as I paint it back to white. I caught up with a friend that I had forgotten was in town this summer, and rode the bus back downtown.

Dinner was uninspired and unphotogenic, but there was a lovely situation out the window for dessert.

And that is today’s moment of perspective; even when you can’t really see it, life is still pretty good. Remain positive, and I’ll do the same.

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One Response to “Some More Thoughts”

  1. Tahnks for posting


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